I really have no idea how I am supposed to handle the situation that has been on-going now for over 2 years. You see, my husband and I are polyamorous, we have more than one love. Please don’t make me define, there are plenty of good resources on the internet. Point being, when one of our loves becomes closer than your average relationship, they are like family and do become family. Problem is, blood family most the time just doesn’t get it, or even worse, they don’t get along with this extra person because the two are just chemically, biologically, and psychologically incompatible. Such is my problem today. No matter that I have been trying to be supportive of my Sissypoo during the time her grandson took missing, b.s. on the family level just cannot help but to rear its ugly head.
So, here today is my issue. My niece and my husband’s live-in girlfriend just cannot get along. They each think the other is childish… and they are right. They both had sexual relations with the same man which they both deny is an issue, but I know for a fact it is a constant underlying current in the neverending b.s. between the two women. Worse yet, my niece is shacked up with said dude, and they both need to just get over it. And to make matters even worse, they all live on one large piece of property owned by my mother-in-law. Still with me?
The two women were all nice and hunky dorey just a couple days ago. Now they are both being ignorant yet again. And I am always caught in the middle. Always. They are both my family, but cannot remain civil long enough for family to move forward and just live our darned lives. Who cares what someone thinks of someone else or who thinks who is the boss of fairyland??? Just freaking let it go. Live and let live. But no. The two of them are just not capable of acting like polite adults.
You don’t have to like each other. You don’t have to love each other. You don’t have to believe a word that comes out of each others mouths. But you do have to be civil, polite, and potentially even nice.
So, now my niece has told me that I have my head up my husband’s girlfriend’s butt, and my husband’s girlfriend has called my niece a child. Oh, and I guess my niece has disowned all of us and we are no longer family.
And all this started because said niece could not be polite in ASKING said girlfriend to leave the pool area with MY DAUGHTER because she had heard thunder and knew that a storm was brewing and the pool was not safe. Girlfriend took offense and thought she was being bossed around by a child. Niece thought she was righteous in preserving safety. Both were out of line in their manner of speech and in their reacting to said situation.
So, I am writing this to let them both know I am done. This is stupid. You bitches need marriage counseling. I have tried time and again to be the peacemaker, but I get pooped upon. You are both my family. I would never ask you to like one another. Frankly, I don’t care what demons lie in your little black hearts. But you will be nice to one another in the presence of me and my children or you will see a side of me that may put me back in jail or at the very least removed from the property by the police.
I am trying to raise, or help raise, 3 beautiful intelligent girls. I don’t want them acting like y’all, ever. My 12-year-old is the most mature of the three of you. I had to turn off my phone and my Skype because you both had to keep trying to get in the last word as if you were the one who was correct in the situation. You are not. I thank the gods that I don’t live on that property at this time. There are not enough ropes and muzzles to shut the two of you up. But my children have to be around both of you, a lot. And you both need to start setting your personal issues, be they as they may, aside and act like responsible civil adults around my children at ALL times.
This summer started off nicely. Hell, we even got to play ball with Papaw in the pool, and that never happens. I am so glad that we celebrated father’s day early so that at least the fathers had one nice moment before the crap started again. We are family. As I already stated you don’t have to like each other. But that is my home. That is my children’s home. And my children are more important to me than both of you. Period.
I plan to come over to visit tomorrow and if I have to knock heads, I will. I am sick of this silly shit. I want to finally enjoy my family now that my probation is over. If I can be nice and polite to people in our family for the sake of my children, then you need to do the same. If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all. Works for me.
For the few followers of my blog who just tolerated my rant, I apologize. There needs to be a family meeting to settle this completely. If you no longer want to be family to Dawn, Hope, and Quin, then walk away. But do not test me in my resolve to protect my children from bad examples of adulthood. This behavior will not be tolerated from them and it will not be tolerated from you. You act like babies, I will treat you like them. I am the female head of my household even if I don’t live on that property. There is nowhere else for us to live and I want my kids to be around their grandparents for as long as humanly possible. You will not stand in the way of that. You will not stand in my way.
And, lastly, you don’t have to like or love me, but I am family and you will treat me with respect and be cordial and polite around me and my children. End of discussion.
PS – The man my niece is shacked up with is very nice, polite, and thoughtful. I really love him as family. He and my husband have to live with this crap, and neither of them deserve it. The men obviously have no ability to keep the women in check, so the women need to check themselves. Supposedly these women are submissives to these men. Again, don’t ask me to define, look it up. But they sure don’t carry themselves as self-respecting submissives in a situation that is desirous of self-respect and respecting others. Think about it.