I said goodbye, or more hopefully “see you later”, to a friend today. I wish I had the chance to know her longer, but it was not in the stars. You see, she was in a relationship that did not work out and now she is heading back home to the other side of our great nation to see her mom and be with blood family while she starts over again.
I am sad. So sad. And I am going to need time to grieve. The guy it didn’t work out with is by and large a very sweet boy. But it was not the first bump in the relationship, but this one was so big it was the last. Neither are bad people. In fact, most humans are not born bad, but we do make bad choices and/or decisions. In time, I will forgive him his indiscretion that caused the loss of such a lovely lady from my community. Right now I hurt.
I am not mad. And I am human. Anyone over the age of 18 cannot claim to be perfect, we have all made mistakes, some of us have made huge mistakes that landed us in jail or homeless or in the hospital. Some mistakes are tiny and easily forgiven. I think this one falls firmly in the middle.
C., we are all going to miss you so much. K., you will be forgiven, in time. But please let us have an appropriate time to grieve. Aching hearts need time to heal, but you are still loved and you do still have a community to come back to when the hurt is not so fresh and bleeding.
Getting one more chance is the best that any of us can ever ask for. I am living my second chance and trying my best to walk the narrow if I can’t walk straight. We have to try to be good to each other. Family is built from love and forgiveness, but also from lessons learned from the mistakes we have all made.
I am going to go be sad for a bit. Probably longer than a bit, but my heart is in my throat and I can write no more tonight.