So, this new year has not started out bad, per se, but it has been challenging. For those playing along at home (as in you personally know me and the intricacies of my existence), the two-legged pet is no more, and a four-legged has become a permanent fixture in our family. There have been some ups, downs, and general confusion, all par for the course, and there have been great joys.
Today, I linger on the confusing…
So, unbeknownst to myself, I made people very uncomfortable at the December drum circle by chanting that ol’ time favorite “We All come from the Goddess/God, Hoof and Horn” medley that is fairly popular among the hippies and pagans here in South Central Kentucky. It was interpreted that I was throwing religion into a community event and that in doing so, I was calling forth “the Beast”. This blew my mind insomuch as I was taken aback by the terminology and had a full minute of not knowing what Beast this person spoke of. She stated that the “hoof and horn” and “horned god” were references to the Beast and that she did not chant along because she did not wish to participate in calling out the evil.
Well, bust my buttons. I was as polite as I could be in the moment and let her know that “hoof and horn” is speaking of animals just like “corn and grain” speaks of vegetation. “Horned god” is reference to Pan or whatever horned ruler of the forest you like and is merely a masculine representation of the Divine, both God and Goddess being personifications of Nature itself, that from which all life springs forth. We come from it, we go back to it, and we are recycled again and again.
But inside, I was screaming! I am not an occultist. I am not a devil-worshipper. This Beast she saw in my words does not even exist in my reality. Aleister Crowley called himself “The Beast”, but I don’t worship him either, he was just a man, like so many men before and after him. Why greet me with open arms when inside you cringe at what you believe me to be?
Let me be clear that I give all due respect to all Deity of ALL Religions, but I do have some problems with those that are not Gods, or God-like, being exalted as such. Lucifer was no God. He was at best once an angel, a loved and treasured angel, who pissed off his God by showing pride and vanity. So his God gave him the hold heave-ho and told him to bugger off. So, O’ Lucy got his proverbial balls in a twist (as I understand it, Angels actually have no gender) and decided to gang up with whatever hurt spirit or demon entity that he could lord over to hurt his God in anyway that he could. He tempted his God’s most precious creation into not being good and wholesome people and pulled them away from the glory they were due. But he is no Deity. Lucifer, The Beast, or any other name by which you want to call him, is not a GOD. Heck, the way I understand it from the outside, even so-called Satanists see the divine spark as being within us, not part of a separate consciousness. But I could be wrong on that point. Feel free to comment.
I have faced off with spirits both good, bad, and indifferent. I started life as a Christian and have been “saved”, “born again”, and “washed in the blood”. I do not worship a fallen angel or call them into any circle I am a part of. I do converse with Hecate on occasion, who does have a dark aspect, but She is a Goddess and quite worthy of my respect and honor. My primary “patron goddess”, if you will, is actually Quan Yin, great lady of compassion. And I feel I have honored her by not punching anyone in the face for accusing me of calling forth this beast.
So, the drum circle does this thing where they greet each cardinal direction at the beginning of our meeting. You pagans reading along will recognize this practice as “Calling the Quarters”… yet, we are not a religious group. The leader wants to step back a bit this year and let others greet the directions. I intentionally volunteered for February. I may be asked to not return after. For I know what I do when I face into the wind and ask the Guardians and Spirits to join and guide. And those that fear such a lesser being as the beast, really have not seen enough of the world, physical or metaphysical, to know what they should fear. And as much as I have loved drum circle, be that as it may, it might be time to cut that practice from my schedule and replace it with something more wholesome and nurturing to my soul — like a drum circle in my back yard with family and friends and singing about Gods and Goddesses and the beauty of Nature and the blessings we have.
This is not the first time my lifestyle and beliefs have been called to question. But, honestly, the first time in over 20 years someone has accused me of being in league with forces of evil. I mean, wtf? Right?
The kicker is that the circle wants to perform the song “Mother I feel you” for Earth Day at my fellowship. What mother do you speak of, beast haters? Mother Earth is a Goddess in her own right. Is that religious? Are you breaking your own rules? Or are you offending your God by singing about feeling a different God? Please think about these things. Think about the words and how people are hearing you. I know I will be… but I am just enough of a cuss to intentionally insight a riot now that I know I have that power. We shall see.
And for future reference, if you don’t understand the words coming out of my mouth, open your mouth to ask a question and gain understanding so that our community is united and not veiled in mystery and misconception. The unknown does not bond us together.